numb as it feels

it's been almost a month since i started working. i know i should at least update a bit... but i choose to let this little ramble space of mine blank. i dunno wat to write.. happy that i started working? to be honest the answer is a big NO NO.. i dunno why... i couldnt even feel that i like my job. i am tyring to like it but to be honest, i cant.. everytime i tried to ask ppl things i dunno.. i just get ignored.. or they will have this look stamped at their face "how come is this girl so stupid".. so many terms i don't understand.. and everytime i tried to ask around.. people will look at me as if i am dumb.. so wat if i am dumb damm it.. screw you ppl who dont even wanna teach me when i asked.. you guys have been working there for freaking years compared to me who is working less than a month.. of course there are many many things that i dunno... so who to blame? me myself? i am really trying but you people around never give me the chance to learn. I never wanted to give up easily without trying.. but everytime i tried so hard.. i am falling even further.. and questioning myself day by day.
grrrr... somebody.. save me... =(
let me give another month a go.. before i decide on something else...