coursework,coursework,coursework

and here i am rambles again. I cannot understand why we have to endure all the painful process of assignments. I dun get it and its the time again, yeah, the 4th semester in Uni and here I am as always, stuck with assignments which i am so reluctant to do.

so it's either i do, or fail I am.

I wasnt in the mood to write this but i feel something need to be express here that i am becoming lazier day by day. Mum have also started to see that I am lazy and i think in no time she will begin to shout at me. Blame it on me or what ever external factors, i think it is purely me who doesnt want to study hard. I have lose any appetite to study anymore and heck, i dun think i would be able to achieve good results this semester. I have told my mum of not expecting a good grades from me this semester and she sighed away in disgust. Haha.

I think it's the time again when i hit the panic button but i would not this time as i would do one thing at a time as there is no point panicking if I know i cannot manage so many things at a single time.

I think i have a writing test tomoro and yes, maybe it was the fact that i am crapping here to get a good base to crap in the test tomoro? yeah, i would think so.but this crap is purely NOTHING that i dun think it will be helpful for tomorrow's test.

Like what my previous post mention, i think i kind of going thru the emotional year when i think it's from teen to adulthood? huh, i dunno but why is it that life is so complex. Cant it be as simple as ABC, but come to think of it, where is the fun when life is not complex. Again pure crapping.

Sigh. Let me see, I have YKT 213 assignment on BERSIH rallies to do, YKT 212 assignment on Hegemony, Test on Marketing subject, a News Release to be written, a documentary script, a drama script and a campaign project. All which i have not started yet.

Okay, writing this freaks the hell out of me. and i think i must hit the red button already.

If i were continue this crap, it will not end, so i shall end the rambles now and continue another time.

swish, swosh, swash...

typically random but many happening things in the space of my last post and this entry. LEt me see, my assignment is pilling up like a mountain already and yet i never started anything knowing i have one to pass up tis tues. Blerghh.. help me as i have no idea on how to start it.

This is still a looong year to go and i wish it would be over soon enough. dun ask me why. i dun bother to apply for my practical but i get very scared and nervous when i see everyone around me working so hard to get the best place. and i start to freak the hell out of me. but after making several thinking and asking ppl around me, i decided to give up and wait for the school to make the last decision for me. That's it. but that doesnt mean i dun care about my future because i remain positive on my 3 choices would have give me a good impact in the society. GIVe me MAKNA and i will help put in more charity concerning the health stricken patient. i will do my best to help them lessen their burden, at least a lil. haha.

I wish i have time to go for a holiday. I need rest, i need peace to figure out what i want in life. i am a juncture of no-where to go and i need to find myself out. still i am on a looong journey to self discovery.

=)

of internship and "hoo-haahss" of semester

Title pretty up sums it all. Yeah, it has a been a headache time considering how short time we were given to apply for our internship.
I browse thru the 26 places for us broadcast students to apply for. All this while, i only had red communication in my mind and my objective was clear, browse the pages to see if red com was there. and straight apply for that. Yup, i did see that.. and after that i was looking down on other companies on the paper, my heart took a 180 degree turn as i saw Majlis Kanser Nasional(MAKNA) on the list for intern to the broadcast student. My choices changed. i dunno why, but i wanted MAKNA instead of Red Com. then i went back and surf the web out. although what done in MAKNA doesnt have anything related to my field of study, it doesnt matter anymore. all i wanted was to help others for their burden and hopefully they dun suffer that much.
but apart of me was still hanging on to apply for production house for a chance to practice my skills.After much and deliberate consideration.. this is my final choice..
1) Skywalker TV
2)Red Communication
3)MAKNA

there you go.. fingers crossed i will get any of the above three for i am lazy to apply by my own anymore. after that will i decide whether to rent a house or stay with my friends..

And yeah. workload begin to increase.. pratically every subject is full/loaded with assignments d. but i cant be bother to start as my mind is wandering off somewhere for i dunno where..
Lets hope that things get going soon enough for me and when i hit that gear, i am not too late with everything.

for now, let me have a peace of mind and a journey to self discovery.

the routine gets going again.

i hate it. Raya is over. It freaks me out counting days to exams when i didnt even start opening any books nor reading yet. I hate the fact that tis is the 1st semester when i dun /rarely understand what is being taught. Forgive me for being a lazy ass but it's not my fault kan... tis semester is full with assignments and when you got to know it.. semester is over.. and you have to struggle looking for notes/past year quest and god knows what else to be ready for exam.. grrr...
Here i am ranting again instead of studying really proof that saya tak ada mood untuk study. You really got to force yourself.. even coming home for holiday.. i only brought back a file as thick as 2cm??? cause i know i wont be studying and there is of no use bringing back those thick thick books/notes back home. AND i got it SPOT on. I din even touch that 2cm file. SEE???
I hate studying.officially hate.and hate.....
SO, since semester is almost over.. guess this blog wont be on YKT 214 d kan? saya pun tak tahu samaada mahu terus untuk tulis atau tidak. Sudah macam tak bersemangat. Mungkin akan jadi blog peribadi saya. Maklum blog saya yang satu lagi sudah tak diupdate selalu kerana kemalasan saya. Saya semakin hari semakin tua dan semakin malas.
ANyway, i wont let my laziness get over me. I need to study. to maintain my results. Else, mummy dearest would nagged me again. and i cant stand facing those relatives who LOVES to compare with their goddammf***king children... grrr. i wish to get out every festive season. so i wont get annoy by those bitch and just my family and i. even my bro hates them.. and mind you, he is taking his STPM in few weeks time. He sure lagi will get bombarded coming next CNY.
why la our life so miserable???

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

so much yet so little..

By not giving us mid semester break we got 2 weeks of study break... how good is that? but it was mainly due to hari raya celebration.. so 2 weeks of study break (hols) is more appropriate.
hmmm..dunno if i really could study that early....

it also D-day time when results of assignments is out.. and i got my TV production result d.. dunno should be happy or sad.. maybe should have done better... never mind then, no point regretting it though..

This few days i have been questioning myself, do i really want to do what i really want or take another path in life.. sigh.. still i had ppl looking at me as if i am a different ppl... i dun f***king care what you ppl think.. Cant you ppl just grow up and have a life.. So i did a few things which lead ppl to think that i am not the same person as i am be4.. i know what i did but you ppl can nevr jugde me just because of some small things... screw you up.. and i dun care..

no point being emo... blah...

superb?

Eating at Ananda Bhavan was good! Food and service was real good. but i forgot to take pixies... haha.. i was eating too much.. and New zealand natural at 30% today is darn niceeee.. making this the wonderful weekend in this semester.

Going out with wondergirlMei was good. And to look for what path of life to go is so difficult. while she is working and having fun at her intern so much, i wonder what will my path of study lead me to. A fun, wonderful life? Living a naive life? i dunno which path to take.. Remember Robert Frost poem we used to study in School, The Road NotTaken.. Two road diverged... bla..bla.. bla.. and he choose the road less taken... should i or should i not take the road which less ppl are taking? i really dunno. There is so much life has to offer and i seriously dunno which kind of life i want. I yearn to backpacked around the world all this while. Doing things which are going to challenge my limitations but then again i have my family to care about and i cant be too selfish, can i.. sigh.. but life is too short to not taking any risk. I would risk anything to travel around the world. and when i was young, i used to have the girly talk with wondergirlMei that we would retire by the time we hit our big 3-0. We would be laughing our ass off doing things others wont do. Opening our own boutique and learing how to sew... we seat in borders, going around books be4 giving up but deep inside us, we still wana learn.. Boutique is still our dreams... after all, girls just wanna have fun!!!

I set my self short and long term goals... but things happen and goals will change as well.. For now, i will conc on exams and review my goals later.