do what u got to do to get it right?

It is THAT terrible. i am missing my family very much especially mummy dearest.
and how come i did not feel this way at all the last few times i was away and i think this is the most difficult one as i know this is the phase of life where i am going to face ALONE.
Alone in this place where i freak out everytime i walk on the street, driving and what not.
The last few times when i was away, i wasnt feeling tat bad, because i knew that i would be going back to Penang.. but it is completely different now because i know that once i am out here.. i would not be going back to Penang and stay there permanently.

I knew if i had stayed back over in Penang, i would not have to worry on everything because everything i wanted is there but i feel i needed moments to be away from everything and to start anew and to embark on the new transition in life.. Career life.

maybe perhaps work hasnt kicked in yet and that i have more time to myself and i worried to much? what if i could not make it here? what if's and what not.. i hate that feeling very much.

I know what i have got to do to make things right but i just cannot think that being away from family is THAT difficult. guess, i will just have to go through this and let time heals everything.
I will try to make an effort to go back to Penang as often as i can.. :)

and so to stay positive and not rant to much, i am praying for a good week of work ahead!

the updates

i actually did cry when i was coming to KL on tuesday because i knew that once i stepped out from my hse i wont in anyway be back there for real.. even if i do go back.. it would be for a short holiday and all..it is just so hard when weeks be4 that, i am actually looking forward to be here in KL, but when the time comes, it was just so hard, no thanks to the CNY festivity that makes me wanna stay longer in Penang.

so now, here i am in the big city and was stuck in highway and only reached PJ after 7 hours of drive from Penang, which usually take me 4 hrs.. I unpacked and unload all my stuff and just call it a day.

on wednesday, i officially start my day at work. I was using the GPS to navigate me but somehow, it sort of fail me or i navigate it wrongly and i had to me a u-turn, detour here and there and was there just in time for the induction program to start.
the 2nd day was also induction but good news is.. it was only half day. and i was free after that..
and on friday, it was a briefing on the channel with the VP of the channel in my new office.. it was only an hour with the tour around.. and that was it. I was free the whole day.. few of us decided to have a talk together and we went to the nearby cafe.. everyone also as i am dunno what to expect from the new channel but the difference is.. all of them are with experience in this field except for me...

so yeah, basically that was it.. and would let you guys know more when the time comes.. =)

so yesterday was a good day MINUS the few minutes of drama that i had with the biatch be4 i headed for the astro fest.. i wish that u guys were here with me so all of u can go the the fest.. food was free, concert, lion dance, foot reflexology, manicure, calligraphy, games and many many more....

So, here is to hoping for a new week to come and learning more as i can...