september already

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

it;s the last quarter of the year already and yet i have not made up my mind.. very indecisive of me.. but anway, i will will will finalize everything by this weekend and go for IT.

so many things to write... yet when i click on the new post button.. it's as if everything i wanted to write here. disappear from my mind..

to stay in penang or to go over to kl.. this two places is in my mind for weeks already. I wish was was more firm, determined and decisive. but yet i am so frail, weak and so indecisive to make a decision.

until a decision is made.. let's hope to a beginning of a good month.. and joy! =)

Educational Learning Experience

when i was in manchester back in june.. i went for some visiting trip with sakiinah's parents and it was one fruitful learning trip.. one tat i will remember and hope to be able to share some information that i learnt from the experience.



the pictures above was taken 7am in the morning.. in front of the University of Manchester hostel.. where i curi tinggal.. it was good and truly an experience to be able to stay there for 2 nites.. since it was the end of semester already, there were many parties going on.. it looks scary cause i havent seen any scenario like tat in our country before.. everyone dress up and get into the mood of partying wee midnite.. while we were walking back from our dinner cum supper.. so many beggars on the road and even waiting to pounce on the leftovers and asking for money.. it was real scary.. and people driving in the car honking and screaming at your direction and everything weird plus the cold weather at nite..



so my 2 nights in manchester included shopping and of course. touring manunited stadium.. the third day was reserved for a road trip up north england.. but before that we stopped by Leeds to visit an intergrated fish farming place.. my 1st thought was tat.. how the people managed the place and seeing how they actually work the farming thingy out... the place, located very inside.. near to hills.. away from Leeds' town.. my bad.. as i cant really remember the place really well..



boy was i wrong went i step into tat place.. it was nice and peaceful.... we were then introduced to the person in charged, Alberto who briefed us everything about the place.. later only did we know that educating troubled kids, or young teens with juvenile cases is one of their long term plan to curb these kids from going into the wrong path in life. most of these kids have problems at home.. and these leads them into thinking that they are unwanted, useless, wortheless and lacking of love from their parents - more children and teenagers are prone to taking drugs, stealing and etc.. with initiative taken.. this 'troubled kids' is getting a chance to learn things tat they might not learn in the classroom.. they are given the chance to go into farming, gardening and many more..



some of the plants and fishes in the green house...according to alberto.. many of these kids.. have not even seen a fish in their life.. and all of them who came here.. have the oppurtnity to touch and feed the fishes.. by interacting with the fishes.. these kids feel warmer and become "soften" at heart.. as they feel at peace communicating with the fishes..

organic strawberry.. with a very good watering system..

tomatoes... very very delicious..

this is the worms.. i forgot the name, the types already.. my bad..but the soil is very good.. and the worms are really fat!

outside the green house.. vegetables are plant around..

see the bamboo watering system on the top right hand.. i personally like tat one very much.. =) and on the down left hand corner is the chairs and tables made by the students who go there for the classes and etc..

After hours spent in the place.. i actually got to know how life it is for the hard ones and the one tat is not portrayed by the mainstream media.. what we are only seeing sometimes is the luxury of others and yet there are so many unfortunate people out there regardless of where they live... be it in the developed country or undeveloped country..everyone just want to achieve something in life to be proud of and be happy.. yet this simple and easy task is so hard to be accomplish... when we get something.. we want more.. and that's where greed comes in.. and we are so not easily satisfied..

What is the meaning of life anyway?

sometimes.. it leads me to think that money is not everything and i am not supposed to be choosy.. but yet in life we are so into material stuff that we forgot that when you have the basic necessities (you can eat, 'shit' [sorry for the harsh, rude word, cant thing of any...] and sleep) it's all enough.. without these 3 basics stuff.. you cant go anywhere..

decision, option, changes

it has been a roller coaster 2 weeks for me.. after convocation.. i went straight to kl.. tat is for some short vacation.. seeing around kl.. visiting museum, petrosains, skybridge.. and what not..

then i came back.. got phone calls for me to attend interview..

so i went again this week.. came back late last nite.. and i got one job offer.. and i am comtemplating whether to take it or not.. it's in bukit jalil.. but will require me to travel around kl, pj quite often.. so meaning.. i have to bring car down to kl.. then rental.. and then food.. and petrol.. it is certainly not cheap.. but the prob is.. it is quite like a job i have been looking for.. and it is a field which i really wanna go into it. haihs.. should i go for the job because i like it? or should i consider all those break down of expenses?? damm it.. i hate decisions.. when i didnt get any jobs yet.. i will be looking for jobs.. then when finally i got an offer.. there are so many other things to think about.. i hate making decision.. and i never will get the right on..

but anyway, i am welcoming back a friend of mine from germany...

this was taken in penang airport on 1st march 2009.. let's see how she look like when is she back.. whheeeeee...

Barclays Premier League 2009/2010

today marks the start of the 2nd season of the Barclays Premier League, formerly known as the English Premier League. 

i am sure many would make predictions of the outcome.. and of course i am too..

i would of course wanna see my fave team winning it for the 4th consecutive time.. but i am not sure if they could do it or not.-minus ronaldo and tevez.. i am sure we will bounce back.. but not so fast this season.. i just think it might be a rebuilding this season to be prepared for the 2010/2011 season.. and loooking at the transfer of players for the big four club( mu, ars, chel n liv).. i would say that Chelsea are the strongest favourite to win.. followed by manu, arsenal and liverpool.. and i wont be surprise if arsenal can spring something up =).

Hope that come May next year.. we will know who the winner is.. but of course.. hope that it will be an entertaining new season.. =)

mix boiling point

*this is an emo post and truly from my heart.. if i did offend anyone.. am sorry.. i didnt mean to.. again.. it;s everything that i pour out from my heart..**

it was an emotional 2/3 days.. mix with happy, sad and excited feelings.. and it's hard to explain.. one moment i would be grateful, the other i will be rebellious, and crying and enjoying and many stupid mix feeling boiling inside me..

to tell the truth, i am missing lots of my 10 weeks life back in germany.. i like the living lifestyle over there... and i wish i could have tat again.. it hurts tat i am back here in malaysia and yet i cant find myself.. although it's hard adjusting to climate, culture there at first.. but at the end i got used to it already and i wish how 10 weeks would go by really slow.. but again.. i have enjoyed the time there.. i know i should not look backward.. i should look forward.. if i ever have a choice.. i would choose to go away from home and try to explore more about the world..

i am ever growing frustrated with my progress in looking for a job.. seriously.. there is not even one phone call or anyone calling me to attend interview after so many countless applications i have submitted.

i look like an idiot looking for jobs.. i dunno why..i dunno wat qualities employers are looking into... how do i secure a job? and etc.. it's been really frustrating.. i hate tat feeling.. but tat again. if i ever get a job.. will tat job be in the career path tat i want?? should i just look for a part time job 1st and take my time to look for the job i really really want?? arghhh.. i wish i have answers to all my queries..

i am ever excited for my own convocation.. yet for the fact tat many of my frens have managed to get a job and working and looking happy and all.. deep inside, i am happy for them but at the sametime i cant help for the fact tat it is so hard for me to find a job... i have been keeping a positive mindset but my heart is very fragile.. and sometimes when my heart cant take it anymore.. i break down.. all alone by myself crying.. it's been hard to put on a brave front facing so many people tat once i'm all alone.. all the negativity comes in.. and tat is the breaking point.
but for the time being.. to be honest i am thinking of taking up the work and travel program and to explore different things in life rather than the conventional working life.. where i will go to work and the routine and mundane life continue again and again and again daily. and then i thought of taking up postgraduate studies overseas and work my way up again..
again, tat is just what i am thinking right now.. but still there are many things that is not conclusive yet.. unless i can land a job soon.. then every doubt will be put to rest.. else.. i must have a contingency plan for everything..

favourite team lost in charity shield to chelsea.. on penalties.. but am hoping for a competitive 2009/2010 premier league season, plenty of tennis and of course the World Badminton Championship this week..

pic OF the WEEK

lit, i reproduced this pic from your blog.. hehehe.. 

it's nice. and it capped a nice nite i had this week. =)

Changes

You can change your hair,
You can change your clothes.
You can change your mind,
It's just the way it goes.
You can say goodbye and you can say hello.
But you'll always find your way back home.
You can change your style,
You can change your jeans.
You can learn to fly,
And you can chase your dreams.
You can laugh or cry,
Like everybody knows.

You'll always find your way back home.

(from Hannah Montana The Movie , You'll always find your way back home)

it was one of hannah's episode showed on Disney Channel tat led me to go online to listen to the movie soundtrack.. and then i got addicted and went online to watch the movie. The movie was ok.. not bad.. but what i like the most was the lyrics from few songs in the movie. 

and then it made me realised how many things i missed out cause i wasnt looking forward for something new.. but i was literally missing things that was from the past..

"Often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us." ~Helen Keller~