how often you have this day in the calendar? four years once. well, thats a wonderful thing and if you are born on this day, well a happy birthday to you. Enjoy the day to the max.
it's been raining for 2 days.. i like the weather very much. well, it's a breeze to wake up so early this morning and i certainly feel the breeze.. its fun.. walking in the morning.. sunrise.. and the atmosphere is just nice.. peace and quiet.. could not ask for more.
i guess i have been whinning too much lately. when my life now is full with mess.. YUp mess, and people around have been annoying lot that decision cant be made fast. why do we have to gothru all the fussy in doing this late when we can get things done much earlier. some annoys me, some have been nice.. that's the character.. i have to respect ppl for that as i am not that good either. yeah, i am evil sometimes, but it's the things that have been going around lately. i cant stop but to thnk of it. life;s tough...
while people have been thinking of socialising lot and to built their network so that they could get around getting to know more ppl and securing what they want the dream job when they graduate, i have been lazing around with my own life wthout wanting to get around and socialising.. i dun believe in socialising lot when all is at the stake is lies and more lies.
grr.. i cannot put words in thoughts right now. or rather translate it..
February 29, 2008
February 25, 2008
coursework,coursework,coursework
and here i am rambles again. I cannot understand why we have to endure all the painful process of assignments. I dun get it and its the time again, yeah, the 4th semester in Uni and here I am as always, stuck with assignments which i am so reluctant to do.
so it's either i do, or fail I am.
I wasnt in the mood to write this but i feel something need to be express here that i am becoming lazier day by day. Mum have also started to see that I am lazy and i think in no time she will begin to shout at me. Blame it on me or what ever external factors, i think it is purely me who doesnt want to study hard. I have lose any appetite to study anymore and heck, i dun think i would be able to achieve good results this semester. I have told my mum of not expecting a good grades from me this semester and she sighed away in disgust. Haha.
I think it's the time again when i hit the panic button but i would not this time as i would do one thing at a time as there is no point panicking if I know i cannot manage so many things at a single time.
I think i have a writing test tomoro and yes, maybe it was the fact that i am crapping here to get a good base to crap in the test tomoro? yeah, i would think so.but this crap is purely NOTHING that i dun think it will be helpful for tomorrow's test.
Like what my previous post mention, i think i kind of going thru the emotional year when i think it's from teen to adulthood? huh, i dunno but why is it that life is so complex. Cant it be as simple as ABC, but come to think of it, where is the fun when life is not complex. Again pure crapping.
Sigh. Let me see, I have YKT 213 assignment on BERSIH rallies to do, YKT 212 assignment on Hegemony, Test on Marketing subject, a News Release to be written, a documentary script, a drama script and a campaign project. All which i have not started yet.
Okay, writing this freaks the hell out of me. and i think i must hit the red button already.
If i were continue this crap, it will not end, so i shall end the rambles now and continue another time.
so it's either i do, or fail I am.
I wasnt in the mood to write this but i feel something need to be express here that i am becoming lazier day by day. Mum have also started to see that I am lazy and i think in no time she will begin to shout at me. Blame it on me or what ever external factors, i think it is purely me who doesnt want to study hard. I have lose any appetite to study anymore and heck, i dun think i would be able to achieve good results this semester. I have told my mum of not expecting a good grades from me this semester and she sighed away in disgust. Haha.
I think it's the time again when i hit the panic button but i would not this time as i would do one thing at a time as there is no point panicking if I know i cannot manage so many things at a single time.
I think i have a writing test tomoro and yes, maybe it was the fact that i am crapping here to get a good base to crap in the test tomoro? yeah, i would think so.but this crap is purely NOTHING that i dun think it will be helpful for tomorrow's test.
Like what my previous post mention, i think i kind of going thru the emotional year when i think it's from teen to adulthood? huh, i dunno but why is it that life is so complex. Cant it be as simple as ABC, but come to think of it, where is the fun when life is not complex. Again pure crapping.
Sigh. Let me see, I have YKT 213 assignment on BERSIH rallies to do, YKT 212 assignment on Hegemony, Test on Marketing subject, a News Release to be written, a documentary script, a drama script and a campaign project. All which i have not started yet.
Okay, writing this freaks the hell out of me. and i think i must hit the red button already.
If i were continue this crap, it will not end, so i shall end the rambles now and continue another time.
February 19, 2008
i'm confused, messed up and this has got to be the worst new years i had in many many years. Ever since last year when my uncle passed away, i though i could pull through. but i was wrong. dead wrong. I never recover myself from that day again. Ever since i grew up and especially since i was no more in my teens i have to deal with things i think it's the hardest in my life for the past 2 freaking years. I deal with people i love around me, leave me to be in a place where god think they love them more. I have to back off and accept those decision. Yes, i cried (hard) and move on. But reflecting on this, i do not think i ever moved on. I dunno how to describe the feeling inside me. It's indescriable. I cried and cried for the fact that my life has not been what i want lately but i just move on like nothing ever happened. I hate that. I f***king hate my life right now. For what do i have to study? For the sake of my future? but really, what does future really holds for me. I cannot answer it. I dare not think of it.
My heart is messing with my thoughts and i could not think of anything.
While many at my age is having a blast in their lives, i am not. I am dealing with the internal self conflict i have with myself and i really think that before things gets worst, i should consult someone to help me out. i cannot pull through this. it has been a roller coaster year where pretending isnt the answer for everything.
My life sucks and i aint have anything yet. Dahla no achievement at all. Sigh. I need help...
Unless someone sponsor me to go for a vacation for i am willing to right now or give me anything that i could do out of my study life. cause right now, study like sucks to the max. i really cannot study this semester. it's worst, terribe, painful.. and all the agony i have to pull thru internally and externally.
My heart is messing with my thoughts and i could not think of anything.
While many at my age is having a blast in their lives, i am not. I am dealing with the internal self conflict i have with myself and i really think that before things gets worst, i should consult someone to help me out. i cannot pull through this. it has been a roller coaster year where pretending isnt the answer for everything.
My life sucks and i aint have anything yet. Dahla no achievement at all. Sigh. I need help...
Unless someone sponsor me to go for a vacation for i am willing to right now or give me anything that i could do out of my study life. cause right now, study like sucks to the max. i really cannot study this semester. it's worst, terribe, painful.. and all the agony i have to pull thru internally and externally.
January 23, 2008
..........
while i have been selfishly ramblings on my life here and ignoring the fact of what is going on with life outside myself.. you guys can take a look at this side which offers the writing of youth today.. http://kasikampus.wordpress.com/ I sure bet it's a nice place as this is written by people like my age..
January 20, 2008
swish, swosh, swash...
typically random but many happening things in the space of my last post and this entry. LEt me see, my assignment is pilling up like a mountain already and yet i never started anything knowing i have one to pass up tis tues. Blerghh.. help me as i have no idea on how to start it.
This is still a looong year to go and i wish it would be over soon enough. dun ask me why. i dun bother to apply for my practical but i get very scared and nervous when i see everyone around me working so hard to get the best place. and i start to freak the hell out of me. but after making several thinking and asking ppl around me, i decided to give up and wait for the school to make the last decision for me. That's it. but that doesnt mean i dun care about my future because i remain positive on my 3 choices would have give me a good impact in the society. GIVe me MAKNA and i will help put in more charity concerning the health stricken patient. i will do my best to help them lessen their burden, at least a lil. haha.
I wish i have time to go for a holiday. I need rest, i need peace to figure out what i want in life. i am a juncture of no-where to go and i need to find myself out. still i am on a looong journey to self discovery.
=)
This is still a looong year to go and i wish it would be over soon enough. dun ask me why. i dun bother to apply for my practical but i get very scared and nervous when i see everyone around me working so hard to get the best place. and i start to freak the hell out of me. but after making several thinking and asking ppl around me, i decided to give up and wait for the school to make the last decision for me. That's it. but that doesnt mean i dun care about my future because i remain positive on my 3 choices would have give me a good impact in the society. GIVe me MAKNA and i will help put in more charity concerning the health stricken patient. i will do my best to help them lessen their burden, at least a lil. haha.
I wish i have time to go for a holiday. I need rest, i need peace to figure out what i want in life. i am a juncture of no-where to go and i need to find myself out. still i am on a looong journey to self discovery.
=)
January 11, 2008
of internship and "hoo-haahss" of semester
Title pretty up sums it all. Yeah, it has a been a headache time considering how short time we were given to apply for our internship.
I browse thru the 26 places for us broadcast students to apply for. All this while, i only had red communication in my mind and my objective was clear, browse the pages to see if red com was there. and straight apply for that. Yup, i did see that.. and after that i was looking down on other companies on the paper, my heart took a 180 degree turn as i saw Majlis Kanser Nasional(MAKNA) on the list for intern to the broadcast student. My choices changed. i dunno why, but i wanted MAKNA instead of Red Com. then i went back and surf the web out. although what done in MAKNA doesnt have anything related to my field of study, it doesnt matter anymore. all i wanted was to help others for their burden and hopefully they dun suffer that much.
but apart of me was still hanging on to apply for production house for a chance to practice my skills.After much and deliberate consideration.. this is my final choice..
1) Skywalker TV
2)Red Communication
3)MAKNA
there you go.. fingers crossed i will get any of the above three for i am lazy to apply by my own anymore. after that will i decide whether to rent a house or stay with my friends..
And yeah. workload begin to increase.. pratically every subject is full/loaded with assignments d. but i cant be bother to start as my mind is wandering off somewhere for i dunno where..
Lets hope that things get going soon enough for me and when i hit that gear, i am not too late with everything.
for now, let me have a peace of mind and a journey to self discovery.
I browse thru the 26 places for us broadcast students to apply for. All this while, i only had red communication in my mind and my objective was clear, browse the pages to see if red com was there. and straight apply for that. Yup, i did see that.. and after that i was looking down on other companies on the paper, my heart took a 180 degree turn as i saw Majlis Kanser Nasional(MAKNA) on the list for intern to the broadcast student. My choices changed. i dunno why, but i wanted MAKNA instead of Red Com. then i went back and surf the web out. although what done in MAKNA doesnt have anything related to my field of study, it doesnt matter anymore. all i wanted was to help others for their burden and hopefully they dun suffer that much.
but apart of me was still hanging on to apply for production house for a chance to practice my skills.After much and deliberate consideration.. this is my final choice..
1) Skywalker TV
2)Red Communication
3)MAKNA
there you go.. fingers crossed i will get any of the above three for i am lazy to apply by my own anymore. after that will i decide whether to rent a house or stay with my friends..
And yeah. workload begin to increase.. pratically every subject is full/loaded with assignments d. but i cant be bother to start as my mind is wandering off somewhere for i dunno where..
Lets hope that things get going soon enough for me and when i hit that gear, i am not too late with everything.
for now, let me have a peace of mind and a journey to self discovery.
January 03, 2008
New Year 08
nope. this year, i did not make any new year resolution for i never keep up with resolution be4.
and my new year have been a blast as well. my family with my uncle's family went north to our grandparents house to spring clean the house. it was damm tiring and imagine throwing all things and cleaning up a huge house is so not easy!!!but it the fun that i enjoy! i reach home at nite. tired and slept till the next morning.
Up front we are bombarded with the local news on our ex health minister. it is sad. i just feel devastated. i felt sad for him. and i salute him for his courage to admit his mistake... and his family are all behind him which make things even more amazing. i would have stand by him although many of the 26millions malaysian might think that he have disgrace our country. yes, to one extend but tell me who or which men is not like him???
whether is a plot to bring him down or related to the coming General election, i dunno but the ppl who did this should be ashamed of themselves for doing such a thing.
on the other note, i lose interest to study this semester. i dunno why. everything dont seems to go on a right note.
i super semangat want to ramble on my feelings right now. but when i start writing... i just dunnow how to express my feelings here. guess i will leave it to next time then....
and my new year have been a blast as well. my family with my uncle's family went north to our grandparents house to spring clean the house. it was damm tiring and imagine throwing all things and cleaning up a huge house is so not easy!!!but it the fun that i enjoy! i reach home at nite. tired and slept till the next morning.
Up front we are bombarded with the local news on our ex health minister. it is sad. i just feel devastated. i felt sad for him. and i salute him for his courage to admit his mistake... and his family are all behind him which make things even more amazing. i would have stand by him although many of the 26millions malaysian might think that he have disgrace our country. yes, to one extend but tell me who or which men is not like him???
whether is a plot to bring him down or related to the coming General election, i dunno but the ppl who did this should be ashamed of themselves for doing such a thing.
on the other note, i lose interest to study this semester. i dunno why. everything dont seems to go on a right note.
i super semangat want to ramble on my feelings right now. but when i start writing... i just dunnow how to express my feelings here. guess i will leave it to next time then....
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